Thursday, December 6, 2007

Christine and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Oh my goodness did I just have the worst day ever. This is the first time in over 2 years I have truly wanted a cigarette (don't worry I didn't have one) and almost went right off the wagon.

So I had my going away lunch today with my office. A bunch of people came and I was feeling so loved. I think I was in a constant state of blush with embarrassment, for those of you who don't know me very well I hate being the center of attention! But I had a great time, got some wonderful gifts and two sweet cards; all's well in my book.

Then I get back to the office to finish out the day with my exit interview from the big boss. I'm nervous about this interview as I'm pretty sure there will be some questions involving my one co-workers who has been a bit of a problem in the past. But I'm a person of integrity and value so if asked I'm gonna tell the truth! When up to my desk comes a little birdie who informs me that the manager of the other group (where said co-worker works) knows about the 'confidential' exit interview and knows that I'm going to say something about his group, and he doesn't care what I say, he'll make sure I'm unhappy for the rest of my time and so on and so forth. This infuriates me as this interview was not discussed with anyone but my boss and his boss.

I go upstairs and let the big boss know that I'm not going to talk about anything since there is no such thing as confidentiality. She asks if I'd like to just talk to her without my manager present. I explain to her what had taken place just a few minutes prior when the little birdie had stopped by my desk. She's unimpressed with the managers so this tells me that she wasn't the one to share the info, so I decide to tell her everything. I told her all the problems I had and why I was leaving and everything. She seemed to know some of the stuff already and other stuff appeared to be news she had never received before. I asked her again to keep things between us. She said no problem that she would tell my boss that we had talked and the interview was done.

I go back downstairs, and my boss calls me into his office. I'm sure he's going to ask me why I didn't wait for him. Instead he tells me that he called in the other manager and informed him that I was having an exit interview, I was going to discuss one of his employees and he was going to have to deal with the situation when the big boss brought it up. This is the point in which my jaw dropped to the ground. You've gotta be kidding me, I thought (well not really, but I can't put what I really thought here if I intend to pray with the same mind I was thinking with at that time). I inform him - in not nice tones - that he had no right to divulge that information, he had just ruined any chance I had for a quiet final week, he should never have said anything since he had no idea what was going to be said, and it wasn't his place to say anything so he should have left it to the big boss. I about foamed at the mouth I was so mad. I can not begin to tell you the mess that this whole situation has become. The person in question will take pleasure in making my life beyond miserable. I have seen her in action over the past two years and let me just say this, she should be recruited for some terrorist group since she can inflict so much pain so quickly.

So now I have a week left with these traitors and back stabbers, one of which will be ready to gouge my eyes out all because she will be caught doing things against the rules. I'm thinking of calling in sick tomorrow just so I don't have to deal with it all until Monday! If we weren't in such desperate need of the money I'd just leave tomorrow and use my vacation time for the last week! Oy.

I really think I understand now why people end up pulling out of society. I can only be beaten up so many times by the world before I just lose it all together. I'm so very thankful to have some good friends because otherwise I would have given in today. I would have finally given up on people in general. Say what you will world about my choices and my lifestyle - but at least when I go to the Ward Christmas party tonight I know there will be a room full of people who would never say or act intentionally hurtful, who care about others and not just themselves. I'll never understand how someone can tear down another person like that manager did today. I'll never understand why someone would intentionally hurt another person, actually plan to hurt them. I'm going to miss a few of my co-workers terribly, but as of right now I can't get out of that hateful place fast enough!

OK sorry for the rant I just needed to get it off my chest. Now I get to go photograph 150 primary children with Santa Claus. If nothing else that'll keep my mind off this very bad day. I think I'll ask Santa for a hug tonight, that's gotta make it better right, who's gonna feel bad after a hug from Santa?


tyrymom29 said...

IM so sorry you are going tru all of this !!! Hugs to you !! Its not very fun going in to work with people like that ...Keep your head up dont let them bring you down !!!

Jaime said...

I heart you!!! I hope you realize that you are an amazing person for standing up for what you know is right and you'll be blessed for it!
I can't wait for the ward party tonight, my Ash is sooo excited for santa!

Christine said...

I'm sending you hugs! Stay strong girl. And, coming from an HR person, those people are completely unprofessional and wrong! We love you, go take those fantastic pictures!

Amie said...

It's gonna be ok, it really is. Next week's likely gonna suck. But just keep imagining yourself in your happy place, do your job, try to tune them out, get the week over with, and never think about them again for the rest of your life. We know you're awesome, and so deserving of this better chance!

Meg Meggie Meggers? said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Meg Meggie Meggers? said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Meg Meggie Meggers? said...

keep in mind that when people strike out at others, they do it because they are in pain (unfortunately that pain is rarely caused by the person at whom they are striking)

instead of getting mad at them (which, believe me, I know how easy that is - see blogs regarding sister), the most helpful thing we can do is wish them well, wish them less pain (even if all we can do is wish these things silently in our own hearts)

and we can be grateful our own selves are not also inflicted with so much pain, that all we can think of to do is lash out at others. we are VERY lucky in that way.

i love you girl, keep your head up. may you find peace in knowing that you are a kind and compassionate person who strives to add something positive to this world. because that is something about you in which i am certain.

p.s. did you know this is one of my all time favorite books? my mom loves to remind me of how much an Alexander i was, as a kid. LOL

p.p.s. in case you have a curiosity problem like i do, it was i who deleted the above comment. i found a typo and had to fix it.

p.p.s.s. make that the above TWO deleted comments. OMG i need to stop re-reading what i comment LOL

OCD - 2, Meg Meggie Meggers - 0

The Gardner Fam! said...

I'M SO SORRY!! Just hold your head up high! You are a fantastic person with so much to offer and share! It's 'that co-workers' loss, not yours! You're da bomb! :o)

dd2njoy said...

Hang in there!! Santa will make you feel better!!

heather said...

christine, I feel that way all the time when I get hurt. Wanting to run and escape and never trying to put myself out there again. But on the other side because you are a loving out there person you have so many wonderful true friends. and I feel the same way about the people in the church. I can't imagine any of them doing things that some of my neighbors have done to me. I am so sorry about the emotional trama. Focus on the love baby!!!!! I am so happy for your new job, and close!