The truth comes out

Both so sad and so eye opening at the same time. It's so very true that you really find out who your friends are when you are in need. I really want to thank those who have come to my aide and helped me this past week. The phone calls to check on my and the sweet comments on my blog, the meals and treats - I really felt loved and didn't feel so scared. It's amazing how limited you are when you can't drive or walk and you realize just how much you actually do on a daily basis when it doesn't get done. My sweet hubby has helped a ton but being gone at 9am and not getting home until 10pm he can only do so much (especially since most nights he is rudely awoken at around 2am by a crippled wife who needs to pee and is in so much pain she can't actually talk - the boy has learned sign language really fast).

And to those of you who so kindly implied in emails and conversation this is in my head and I'm milking the pregnancy pains and should just suck it up like the rest of the of them - I say thank you kindly but I no longer need your assistance. I assure you this is not in my head. 6-8 vicodin a day barely takes the edge off, my joints are visibly swollen and when a skin thermometer is placed on one of the affected areas it registers around 107 degrees. Just because you didn't know me prior to 2006 before I was taking my current medications and living in pain doesn't mean it didn't happen.

I'm going into see my perinatal specialist on Monday and hopefully they will have some answers on more reliable pain management. I am also getting some tests run for downs syndrome and they are going to do a bunch of blood tests to see what's going on with me and most likely he will determine how long I will be on bed rest. I'm a little nervous about the downs syndrome test because being diabetic my chances are increased, but I've been praying really hard for comfort and trying to not focus on things that are not in my control. (Wowser that's really hard for me the control freak, but I must say I've really embraced the lesson and am trying to get better at letting things go by handing them over to Heavenly Father.)

So there is just one more thing I want to express to those who may read this and judge quickly. Until you have walked in someones shoes you really have no idea what their lot is like. Be careful who you chose to judge based on your own experiences because you may just be given that person's trial someday and then you may really need them for help. And just because someone is usually a happy person and it's out of character for them to have a down day remember they are entitled to that down day without judgment or ridicule. We are commanded to help bare each others burdens and serve our fellow man, not tear them down and make them feel bad. I pray I have never kicked a person when they are down and I can certainly say that this experience will make me all the more aware of those who are struggling. One of my favorite quotes is "Everyman is just as happy as he has made up his mind to be." I can assure you I am still very happy about this baby and being pregnant, because I made up my mind a while ago that I was going to be happy. Thank you again to all of you wonderful friends who have helped me out, please know you are all in my every prayer.