Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Thanks, but I like me just the way I am

Dear those of you who have worked so hard to let me know I'm full of faults and imperfections for how I chose to live my life (you know who you are),

Let me start by stating with utter certainty that I know I am in no way shape or form perfect. I know that I am the furthest possible point from perfect on any map.

That being said let me now state that I am really just fine and dandy being me. I appreciate all the comments and remarks about my faults and imperfections that I have received in recent weeks, but really those faults are a part of me and I embrace them. Now I'm not stating that there is no room for improvement or that I don't strive to better myself because I truly do on a daily basis try and make myself a better person. But I'm OK knowing that I will never be perfect. I'm just fine knowing that I have lived a full life long before joining the Church in which I have done and been many things, and let me say none of them am I ashamed of in any way shape or form. Each and every action helped me become who I am and without them I would not be the person I am learning to love today.

For that reason I will always turn up the radio when Brass Monkey, The Joker or Back in Black comes on because those songs are part of my past and I love the memories that go with them.

For that reason I will not deny that I enjoy playing on-line computer games. Or that I love Douglas Adams books & the Twilight series. Or that I'm giddy that there is a new Star Trek movie coming out. Or that I would be ecstatic to sit and watch all the Lord of the Rings movies in succession in my PJ's with a great deli sandwich. Because geeky or not I love the way these indulgences make me feel.

For that reason I will not apologize or feel ashamed that I am a working mother. I have to do what my family needs me to do and if that means I work then I will do it. And in doing so teach my son that personal responsibility is important and your family will need different things from you at different points in your life. The truly important lesson is in how you spend the time you have with your family, not the total quantity of time you spend with them.

For that reason I will never tell a friend that lives a different or alternative life style from mine that they can not be a part of my life or that we cannot be friends anymore because their agency is theirs and the worth of every, EVERY soul is great in the eyes of the Lord, not just those who live the same choices as me. And most of my friends from my past have helped me through tough times without any judgment or ill will against me, for that I am forever grateful.

For that reason I will always believe that it is more important to teach rather than judge because I have been judged more in my life in the last 2 years then any person deserves to be judged and let me tell you it feels awful to always have to worry about what you do and say and how others will tear you apart because of it.

For that reason I will always support the freedom of speech, both yours and mine. Men & women have died for this right, respect it! If you don't agree that's fine, but remember that for everything you feel passionate about there is someone out there that feels just as passionately about the opposite point of view; and they have the right to.

I could go on and on, but I just wanted to address the issues that have been brought to my attention by people in my life, and assure the universe that I really am OK being me. Heck I'm starting to get really good at loving me. Imperfections, religious beliefs, political views, choice in music, health problems and all. But thanks for the concern and all. I appreciate the worrying you've done for my soul, though I think we'll be just fine.



Natalie said...

I'm sorry that you are feeling criticized. Your strength and testimony and ever-optimistic attitude are contagious. You are a strength to many in ways you will never know! Keep being you.

Teri said...

wow mama!! thats a powerful post! way to stick up for "you"!!! you're awesome!! glad your feeling better. hey post some more pics of your cutie we love to see them!!
fyi-my sister is a working mom and she is one of the best moms I know. She enjoys and appreciates every moment with her little boy and just like you is an awesome mom who loves her little man!!

Julie said...

It's so hard in our "culture" to be a working mom. I was a single working mom for almost 4 years...double strike against me. I used to worry about what people thought, then decided not to care. That's the greatest place to be,and I think you're there. Your son will know the sacrifice you continually make for him. All we can do is the best we can. Scott is dying to see Star Trek...me not so much. But that is the beauty of people. I love that we are all different. What a boring world it would be if we weren't.

Natalie said...

Good Gracious! I hope that was a punch in the gut to whomever it was that has the audacity to be critical anymore in this world! There is just too much diversity to be judgemental. Is there even a mold anymore? If so... I don't even know what it is, obviously! Way to stick up for yourself! I think we'll all be just fine, someday!

Amie said...

Everyone and anyone can have an opinion, but that doesn't make them right! You're a good person and you know it. Oh and I'm totally guilty of the video gaming comment but I felt bad about that the second I said it, lol. You're gonna be just fine. =)

hh said...


Amie said...

And I wanted to add that much to my dismay, Danny is a huge Beastie Boys fan. ;) No surprise there, right?

The Wellman's said...

People just need to get over themselves. I think you are awesome Christine!!!

Christine #2 said...

I love ya, my twin! I will stand right by you with my tattoo a showing watching LOTR. I'm so glad I met you and have become such good friends with you. Love ya!

Amber said...

AMEN!! You are so right, how are we supposed to help bring others to Christ, members and non if we only judge and don't befriend them, I never understood this way of thinking.

I'm sorry you've been dealing with these issues, I'm sure you're way nicer and more pleasant when responding then I would be and they better pray the day never comes that I'm around when people do this to you or anybody else I care about - I don't take it lightly. People get on their high horses and forget their own mistakes and shortcomings.

You are a beautiful daughter of God and don't ever forget it. They will have to answer for it on their judgment day - not you. Don't worry - you don't ever have to be careful of what you say and do around me. I will never judge you! You are way too sweet and kind to judge - we just LOVE you and your family.

Thank you for all you do and remember that you are on the right path - if they're thinking negatively, its that person that has the issue to work out with Heavenly Father not you. I once had a church leader say in a talk "if you're looking at the faults of others, your own relationship with Heavenly Father is out of alignment" and it's so true. Sorry for the novel...

Mickey's World said...

You don't need to change. I'm sry that people feel they needed to judge you, maybe the need to look at themselves is in order instead of trying to find your faults. I only knew you for such a short time, and in that time you became a very good friend. A friend that I wll always care for you, especilly because of the person you are. Just remember when you give your soul to the Lord he is with you always w/o judgment. Love Rebecca

jinxi~ aka angi said...

I dont know you, but found you through Amies blog. I know she has spoke highly of you and your husband in the past.

I loved this post. You are a strong woman and it shows. You definitely know YOU and it shows. Congrats!

Keep smiling and as my favorite quote goes.. Dont let the "b's" get you down!

.. also I struggle the same with the working Mom thing. I would loveeee to stay home but its just not feasible at this time. Its tough. Hang in there! My oldest told me one time that he would rather me work than for me to be at home worrying about how to pay this or that. I thought that was pretty smart coming from a teen. :)

ps: your lil boy is a DOLL! so cute!

oh another quote: "There is no way to be a perfect Mother but a zillion ways to be a good one!"

Monique said...

Christine- YOU ROCK! You were an amazing person "in the past" when I had the pleasure of working with you. It seems to me you have only grown more amazing!!!

Take care and God bless!